Filtering - this behavioral problem involves ignoring or “filtering out” all the positive aspects of your life or a given situation, and instead focusing on only the negative aspects. An example might be overlooking everything you accomplished at work and instead focusing on the one problem you were unable to successfully resolve. Personalizing - this entails blaming yourself for everything that happens. It can also involve interpreting any situational criticism as something that you are or should be blamed for. An example of this might involve hearing that your friends can’t make it to a party and assuming that they canceled their plans to avoid seeing you. Catastrophizing - this means automatically preparing for or expecting the worst possible scenario. An example of this might be assuming that the rest of your day will go wrong because of one minor setback early in your day. Polarizing - this involves seeing things, people, and situations as always good or always bad. An example might be assuming that because you had an off day at work, you are automatically a bad employee.
identify the things you think negatively about, and recognize why evaluate your thoughts and feelings throughout the day seek humor in everyday situations and allow yourself to smile or laugh even when you’re upset live a healthy lifestyle spend time with positive people (and avoid negative people as much as possible) be gentle with yourself - a good rule for yourself is to avoid thinking things about yourself that you would not say to another person[5] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source try to find the positive aspects of negative situations envision a more positive future for yourself, and determine what you’ll need to do to make that vision a reality[6] X Research source
Practice deep breathing by breathing in and out from your diaphragm (below the ribcage), instead of taking shallow breaths from your chest. Try to develop a pattern of deep breathing, like counting to five on a slow inhalation, holding your breath for five seconds, and exhaling slowly for five seconds. [17] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source Practice meditation by sitting in a comfortable position away from anything that might distract you. Use deep breathing and try to focus only on your breath, letting go of any thoughts that pass through your mind without judging them or engaging with them. [18] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source Use visualization to calm your mind and put yourself in a better mood. Combine deep breathing with an imagined image of something calming, such as a relaxing place or situation. [19] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source
faith family friendship/connections with others compassion excellence generosity/service to others
Figure out what you’re passionate about doing. You might begin this by examining what your values are. Do you value compassion and generosity? Perhaps a career helping other people might be personally fulfilling for you. Push yourself out of your comfort zone. Just because you are getting by at your job, it does not mean that you derive any real satisfaction or fulfillment from it. Try finding ways to pursue your passion through volunteer work, and if you like it, see if there is any way you can transition into doing that work professionally on a full-time basis. Having a fulfilling career will most likely give you a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment than having a lot of money would. You need to be financially secure, of course, but it’s more important to live with a sense of purpose than to acquire meaningless wealth.
Practice self-reflection every day. Learn to control and take responsibility for your thoughts, words, and actions. Find ways to increase your compassion for others. Work to help others in need, no matter what their circumstances might be. Try to maintain hope and a positive attitude, even during stressful or tragic situations. [26] X Research source Engage with nature. The natural world can be tremendously calming, and many people find that being in nature gives them a sense of spiritual happiness. Try going for walks in the woods, contemplating the landscape whenever you are outdoors. You can also bring nature to you by planting a garden or growing flowering plants in your home or yard. [27] X Research source
Find groups that share a cause you’re passionate about. Try volunteering with likeminded people for some kind of shared cause. Join (or start) a book club. You’ll get to interact with people who share your interests while also bonding over works of art. [29] X Research source
Don’t avoid dealing with your problems. Address them as they arise, and recognize that a given problem needs your attention. Think about the times you’ve faced your problems in the past. You no doubt walked away with a greater sense of purpose and a stronger sense of confidence. Remember this as you approach new and bigger problems, and take comfort in this fact.
Remember that without hard times, you would not have as much appreciation for the good times. Accepting your life the way it is right now is the only way you can truly appreciate everything you have. Be grateful for the people in your life, no matter how difficult your life’s circumstances may be at the moment. Recognize that everyone has similar struggles in some form or another. No life is without difficulty, but it is through perseverance and mindfulness that life becomes joyous and meaningful.
It will not be easy to see your problems as an opportunity for growth, but with mindfulness and a lot of practice, you’ll quickly see that you do actually grow and develop from living through your challenges. Recognize and always remember that life is full of meaning. Just because you are going through a hard time (like being unemployed or losing a loved one), or even suffering physical/medical ailments (like chronic illness or the loss of a limb), it does not mean that your life is without meaning. Try to use the problems in your life to motivate you. Perhaps living with a medical condition might give you the opportunity to join others in raising awareness of that condition, or even working towards finding a cure. Know that even if a given problem doesn’t work out favorably, you’ll still have grown as a person and developed more confidence as a result of facing your problems and trying to learn from them.
Keep in mind that criticism can be constructive or non-constructive. For example, if after giving a presentation someone tells you that you made a bunch of mistakes and that it was really boring, then this is not constructive. This statement is mean and it does not offer an opportunity for you to improve your next presentation. However, if a classmate tells you that she really liked your presentation, but sometimes had a hard time following along because you were talking kind of fast, then this is constructive feedback. You received a compliment and can use this information to improve on your next presentation. If you receive feedback that upsets you, try to take some time for yourself before you do or say anything about it. Take a walk, call up a friend, or do something else to distract yourself. Wait until you are feeling less emotional to think about ways that you can use the feedback to improve yourself. [34] X Research source
