“Hey honey, you seemed kind of anxious today. Everything okay?” “Do you have time to chat? I just wanted to see how your day was going. ”
You can encourage her to open up by being open yourself. Share something vulnerable with her so she sees just how much you trust her. Talk about wanting to get together in an open way, without being forceful.
“There’s no need to call yourself stupid. Everyone makes mistakes, and it’s not a big deal. ” “Don’t worry about it—I did the same thing yesterday! We’re only human. ”
Try to be honest about your feelings, even if they’re negative. Just be sure to follow up with your intentions to stay in the relationship so she feels reassured. “I’m feeling frustrated right now, and I need some time to cool off. But I want you to know that we’re not breaking up, and I still love you very much. ”
On the flip side, closed body language (like crossed arms or facing away) could make her feel like you’re hiding your true feelings.
“I love spending time with you, but I want to spend time with my friends, too. I need you to stop guilt-tripping me every time I hang out with other people. ” “I can tell that you’re trying to pick a fight with me right now, and I think you’re doing it to push me away before I can push you away. I understand where that behavior is coming from, but I really need you to trust that I’m not going to leave you. ”
Try telling her why, exactly, you love her so she believes you even more. “You’re such a kind person. I love you so much. ” “You always know how to make me laugh, and that’s why I love you!”
It can be frustrating to hear about your partner’s problems and not be able to do anything about it. Try to remind yourself that just listening and being there for her is helpful enough.
You can shut down questions like these with calm, loving answers. Say something like, “That’s not true. I love you, and I’m not going to leave you,” or, “I think your mind is playing tricks on you again. I’m not going to abandon you. ” She needs reassurance because she’s been hurt so much in the past. People have probably assured her that they’re not going anywhere, but when that turned out to be a lie, she developed trust issues. [9] X Research source
If it ever becomes too much for you, sit your partner down and talk with her about it. It’s better to let her know now that her behavior is causing you stress rather than keeping her in the dark.
“Have you ever thought about talking to a professional? I really think that you might be happier if you had someone help you work through your emotions. ”
