When an overthinker does step up to make a decision, respect their choice. Overthinkers have already thought through the alternatives.
Give hugs and kisses liberally, and do not hesitate to do the little things that show you care.
This doesn’t mean you should be cruel with the truth. It’s possible to be honest without being brutally honest. Communication is extremely important to overthinkers, so don’t shy away from telling them how you feel or what you think. So long as you’re honest, they’ll respect it.
Overthinkers get a bad wrap for being sensitive or focusing on what’s going wrong instead of what’s going right. Being with an overthinker is great if you value vulnerability and want a partner who will support and treasure you.
Saying things like “I love that outfit!” or, “You know, you really have beautiful eyes,” can really make an overthinker’s day!
For example, if they’re concerned they’re going to lose their job because they lost a major client, you might say, “I totally understand why you’re worried. I get it. I wouldn’t assume the worst yet, though. Besides, you can always get a new gig!” It’s always good to talk through someone’s fears when they’re overthinking. Talking about legitimate fears can lead to a good discussion, while talking about irrational fears can be a good way to offer reassurance.
For example, you might say, “Hey, are we doing alright? I just want to check in and make sure we’re solid. ” Overthinkers tend to keep their worries and concerns to themselves. By creating a little bit of space for them to open up, they’ll eventually learn that it’s okay to say something when something’s on their mind.
For example, if they tell you that they’re concerned about a friendship ending over a disagreement, you might ask them, “Have you tried talking it out?” or “What caused the fight?” If they bring up that they’re thinking about starting a new hobby, you could ask, “Have you always been interested in this?” or “That sounds neat. How much does it cost to get started?”
This is a key part of being vulnerable. Vulnerability and authenticity go a long way to making an overthinker feel comfortable. If you have a habit of shutting down when something’s bothering you, your partner is going to be prone to thinking you’re upset if you don’t openly share what you’re thinking.
For example, if they’ve got a paper due next week and they keep talking about how bad their grade is going to be, you might say something like, “You always think you’ll fail and you never do. You’re a better writer than you think!”
